Thursday, October 9, 2014

I Get By With a Little Help from My Friends...

I am not a huge fan of social activities during the week - I am getting old I guess. The barn is my only normal detour between my desk and my house, but In keeping with my goal of spending more time with my friends, I bit the bullet and went to hang out last night. One of our group of buddies got married, bought a new house, and is now expecting her first bambino, so we went over to see the new place, have some dinner, a tour, and a little wine.

I was proud of myself for persevering through having to make a trip to the store to pick up stuff for the salad I said I would make and finding that they were completely out of the dressing I needed (improvised with a different one - meh), taking care of the dog, getting a quick shower, throwing on leggings and a sweatshirt, then missing a turn because I was talking to my sister, getting rerouted by GPS into another horrible construction-related detour, and being an hour late (it only takes 20 minutes to get anywhere in town). The hassle of getting there was totally worth it.

These friends are non-horsey friends who I met when I was about 25 and going through a divorce. I decided to start running, and discovered that it was incredible therapy. There is a lot of time to get to know people on a thirteen mile run, and a lot of time to work through life's challenges, or not. Sometimes I would just let my mind go blank, and it was wonderful. It took me until I was 25 to finally meet some good girlfriends who I enjoy, I can be myself around, and trust not to judge, or at least not in a mean way. Our lives aren't always free enough to spend as much time together as we used to, but when we do I always walk away feeling lighter even though the hours that we used to spend burning calories have been replaced by hours consuming them instead.

One of my favorite quotes (I love quotes) is:
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. #howtonetwork
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. ~ Jane Howard

I am pretty fiercely independent, and always have been. I used to scale the kitchen counters like a mountaineer when I was little rather than have to ask my mom for help getting a glass down. The reality is that to make it through the world, we all need those people who are our safe haven, our shelter from the storm. In that sanctuary we can lay down that heavy stuff, catch our breath, and be ready to pick it up again when we leave.

Girls night helps me remember that I am really blessed to have a family who loves me, friends who listen and help me find the humor amid the stress, a husband who is on my side, a sweet and amazing dog who has been there for me through the darkest valleys, and a horse that lends me her legs to run the miles that my own body isn't quite up to covering any more.

The older I get, the more I appreciate the people who carve out space for me in their lives. Thank you for stopping by to read what I write, and a special thank you to those of you who have made me fell very welcome and supported in the blogosphere of horses by including me in the conversation, leaving kind and encouraging comments, and for sharing your thoughts and stories on your own blogs. I am glad to have found more people in my tribe :)


  1. It's so nice to find those kind of friends! When I moved to Oklahoma, I was totally friendless, lonely, and miserable. It took me a couple of years, but I finally feel like I've built a social network (although almost all of my friends are horsey) and it's such a good feeling! :)

    1. Hi Stephanie, thanks for reading :) I completely understand - I moved to Michigan from Florida, so my support system is pretty far away. It feels good to put down roots and know that people have your back :) I'm glad you found your people :)

  2. This is lovely, I have been so busy its been hard carving out times for my friends but I'm trying to make a special effort to reach out to the ones that matter most.

    1. Definitely do it - I am sure they miss you :)